Parenting At Risk Youth

I was listening to the Bill Handel show yesterday and was surprised at the way parents approach certain issues with their children.  On the show, Bill repsonded to a report on “Sexting” by basically saying that if his daughters are ever involved in the practice of sexting it would be “one time”… the implication being that he would come down so hard on them that they would never do it again.  Now, I  am a fan of Handel in the Morning, and I know Bill is entertaining the audience, and I know from listening to him for a long time that he loves his twin daughters as much as any father can, but his response is in line with most parents’ responses to this new technological epidemic.  I will stop them!!! The scary follow-up question is, “can you really?”Sexting is the practice of teenagers taking pornographic pictures of themselves or their friends and distributing those photos to others….a Felony in the state of California, a federal offence if the CHILD PORNOGRAPHY is distributed across state lines.  Once authorities are aware that the crime has been committed, it is fairly simple for them to work with cell phone companies to reconstruct how the pictures were distributed.So how would any of us stop a determined teenager from distributing pornographic pictures of themselves or others?  Take away their phone you say? They can use their friend’s phone, a digital camera, a web cam, or an other of the myriad of picture taking devices if they are determined enough.  While there are some ways to intervene technologically, there is no way to completely protect or prevent your child’s exposure to the sexting phenomenon.  So here is my advice:

1. Your child does not need the latest and greatest cell phone, get them a phone that is not capable of sending or receiving picture messages.
2. COMMUNICATE.  Make sure that you communicate your “house rules” and values.  Choose a neutral setting, where you and your child can really talk.  MAKE SURE YOU  LISTEN TOO… Make sure your child understands the legal implications of participating in “sexting”
3. Spot Check- Make sure that your child is where they say they are, with who they said they would be with.
4. Limit their non-directred time.  Teenagers are impulsive, emotional, short-sighted, selfish animals, I mean people… (my mistake)  Give them enough idle time, and they will use it to serve their impulsive, emotional, short-sighted, selfish wants and desires.
5. Check their phones regularly.  This is not an invasion of their privacy in my opinion, it is a reasonable condition of you trusting them with a peice of technology that YOU signed the contract for.  Don’t warn them ahead of time, and turn it off if they don’t give it to you on demand.

There are many other reasonable steps that parents can take and if you want to explore these “in-depth”,  I suggest that you take Parent Project and explore them in detail. Go be a parent!