Parenting At Risk Youth

What is the world thinking???  What societal conditions lead to this?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,325508,00.html

In Pennsylvania, the headlines are hitting on the salacious  fact that pornographic images have been spread to an unknown number of people.  Too many people to count  have the images; one depicting a teenage girl and boy engaging in sex, and one with a teenage girl valuing and respecting herself so much, that she spread her own”Girl gone wild” image of her bare breast.  Everyone is focusing on the minutia of whether the holders of these images will be prosecuted.  The dramatic teases are revolving around what the consequences will be, instead of  what they sadly, already are.  If we focus on the criminal nature of this incident and not the underlying reasons that this incident occurred in the first place, then our focus earns our American culture a big fat “F” in “responsibility”

It is irresponsible for us not to look in our cultural mirror an find out why we are not devastated that teenagers are having this kind of sex in the first place.  There it is!  The statement that has just polarized my readers!  You are either yelling , “Right on!” Or “Kids will be kids!”  Some of you are imagining me a fundamental moralist nut-job because after all, these kids  are expressing real urges inside of themselves that we as a society should help them embrace and help them be healthy….sexually.  (Excuse me while I re-swallow my breakfast that almost came back-up due to the nausea that the above position causes.)   Some of you are shaking your head sadly…. You know I am speaking the truth but again are resigned to the belief that there is no solution…

Ok fellow human beings, let’s press the collective reset button.  There,  that is much better.  Now let’s rebuild the foundations behind our beliefs on teenage sexuality.

1.  As a society, we agree that my 3 year old son is not ready to drive.  His little mind does not make good decisions, he does not have enough life experience, he can not reach the pedals, can’t see over the dash-board, and has no concept of the consequences that his driving decisions might cause.

2.  There exists a figurative stairway that represents steps to intimacy.  It is important to take those stairs step by step.  Letting each step mature and ripen (as opposed to leaping to the top and “bonking” our brains out casually)

3.  We agree that our teenagers are not ready to ensure that they safely climb the steps of intimacy.  We agree they are impulsive and rush the stairs and trip and hurt themselves in the process.  Their brains are still not fully developed to make the best decisions, they do not have enough life experience, their brains cannot reach the right pedals, they can not yet see over life’s dashboard, and they have a very limited concept of what consequences their decisions might cause….  Hmmm, sounds like my 3 year old trying to drive.

4.  Our society agrees that it is my job as a dad to make sure that my son is not behind the wheel of the family Ford.

5.  Our society needs to take action on the fact that it is also a parent’s job to ensure that their teen is not at “the controls” and “driving” something entirely different.  (Pun wholeheartedly intended)

Teaching morality to our children in the United States has been polarized around the question of one’s faith- choice. That is ludicrous. Morality doesn’t have to be based on faith, it can be based on good  old common sense. (Do human’s have that?  Hmmm, we’re so advanced that we still solve problems with war, people still starve, kids still die of the runs,  wow we have no common sense.  Oh well, that’s a blog for another day)

So, let’s pretend we have common sense and actually teach our children to grow-up before they bonk.  Hmmm, even the porn industry calls them “adult movies”

Hey, would we need an HPV vaccine if people had sex responsibly?  Sorry, again another blog for another day.

Parents step-up! Humans, let’s fight for the health of our children by being examples, by being responsible parents, and by truly taking control of influencing our children with all the tools and power we have in their lives.

Hey teenagers in Pennsylvania who are bonking out of control.  What you were doing was wrong.  Wow, how unbelievably “not-politically-correct” of me .  Hey those who are distributing the pictures, you are wrong too, but you never should have had a video to take in the first place.

Parents if you want to know how to fix this, call me up or respond to this blog.  I don’t vent without having solutions

Love,

Pastor Paul

The most common of abused illicit drugs Marijuana comes in many grades that are given street designations based on quality. For instance around here, your standard good street weed is called chronic and you low grade stuff is called slag or shwag.

DETECTION:

EYES: (Usually normal, Possibly slightly Dilated, Will look red and irritated. Kids use Visine to correct this.)Holding your index finger upright approx. 6 inches from you child’s nose, ask them to track your finger with their eyes, without moving their head. watch their eyes for smooth movements. If your child’s eyes bounce, do not track smoothly or together they might be on “stoned”. You can also try putting their eyes under indirect light. If their pupils seem to be “breathing” they have almost most definitely been smoking weed in the last 24 hours.

PULSE/BLOOD PRESSURE: Abnormally High (Normal Pulse 60-90 BPM, Normal Respiration 12-20 Per Min.)

BODY TEMPERATURE: Near Normal

Other signs:

Body Tremors, Debris in Mouth, Sweet yet pungent odor, Relaxed inhibitions, Impaired Time Perception (A good tool is to make them close their eyes and estimate 30 seconds. If they are more than 8 seconds off their is a good chance that they are under the influence), Impaired distance perception, Inability to Cross Eyes.

If these signs are present it is time to use a secondary method of detection to be sure. False Positives and negatives will occur if you just rely on the above effects and can damage your credibility with your child. We use the iCup 10-panel urine Test available from Test Country.com

I always teach the parents that I coach to make sure that they are using all their senses when it comes to monitoring whether their teenager is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. First and foremost, give your child a hug when they come in from a night out on the town. A hug is a great time to smell their clothes and breath, to get a good look at their eyes, to do a close-up “parental” inventory of your child. Make sure you take special care to notice cover-ups like mints in the mouth heavy perfume/cologne, and clothing that has been changed. You can also smell their hands etc. The moment they walk in the door you can start looking for clues as to their sobriety. Make sure you engage them in a conversation that is long enough to know whether they have their faculties or not. When these preliminary checks are not enough though, parents need to have some more tools in their arsenal. I am using this blog to introduce the next 7 blogs here I will give basic information for detecting 7 of the most widely abused illicit drugs. As always, it is one thing to be able to detect substance abuse, it is another thing to have a plan in place that will successfully intervene in your child’s life if they are “using.” Make sure that you have an overall parenting plan that is airtight. If you are not sure that yours is, and very few people are, you need to find a parenting class. There is no better parenting curriculum than Parent Project. I have used many parenting systems and have not seen one that is better. go to www.parentproject.com for more information.